Coming to theaters January 20th, 2012.

Tuskegee Airmen - Circa May 1942 to Aug 1943. Location unknown, but likely S. Italy or N. Africa. Source: Wikimedia Commons.

For the first time in nearly 20 years, George Lucas has his name attached to a film that doesn’t involve the Skywalker family or Dr. Jones. The trailer for ‘Red Tails’ was released today, a World War II epic recounting the story of the Tuskegee Airmen, the first group of African-American fighter pilots.

If you need to brush up on your history, here’s a brief lesson: America, still firmly entrenched in segregation and racial discrimination, set abnormally high standards for African-American pilots during WWII in order to deter them from ever seeing combat. However, all this did was raise the bar, ensuring that any pilot in the Tuskegee Airman was a bona fide ace.

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There are so many great songs by artists out there with therapeutic messages – this Van Halen classic (cranked up loud) is one of my favorites.

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That thought process was to change in October of 1983…

While sitting on the family room floor and in front of our television some news broke about a bombing that had just happened in Beirut, Lebanon – 241 American servicemen had been slaughtered and 220 of those Americans were Marines.

This was my defining moment, it was about being a Marine from there on out. Thinking that perhaps one day I would get an opportunity to fight in a Marine uniform and help with some payback for such cowardly acts.

Korean War:

My mother and father have been divorced since I was a very little boy, and up until I was 16 years old I had been raised mostly by my father and step-mother.  I went to go live with mom again the summer before entering my junior year of high school. She had also re-married.

My step-father was a Korean War veteran, and among his awards was the Purple Heart – he served as an Army Ranger in one of newly formed Ranger Companies during that era.

Oh he had lots of stuff to look at also, and I did when he wasn’t looking. He reminded me of my dad in a lot of ways and I never quite understood why these two men seemed to both hide their military history in boxes and in the back of dresser drawers.

I understand now, my step dad died a couple of years ago and it was very painful to see him leave this world as he did and at a VA hospital. He, like my father, never talked about anything relating to what he saw and did for the longest time. Sometimes there were some short stories that was always centered around something funny that happened to them both while in the Army – that was about it.

At any rate, my step-dad was very good to me and in true Ranger form he led the way to the recruiting center downtown and dropped me off when I turned 17. I did go and talk with an Army recruiter first, that was out of respect for both my dad and step-dad but I ended up in the Marine Corps recruiting office where I felt like I was supposed to be – remembering Beirut.

You can read my own abbreviated story as it pertains to what units I served with and the operations that I participated in located in the “About Eric” portion of this blog. I will not ever regret serving my country, nor will I ever regret being diagnosed with post traumatic stress – that was not my fault. It is not your fault, but we do have a responsibility to ask for some help with it’s symptoms when we know there’s a problem.

Here’s why this story included the men in my family and the wars they fought in – they all had or have ptsd in various forms and levels of severity. They all have dealt with it their way, and they all were GOOD men or still are.

My father is still alive, he became a minister and through spirituality discovered a pathway to recovery. He now displays his ribbons and medals – he wears his ball-cap with the First Cavalry Division patch on it proudly. He was the first veteran I helped file for a claim. He got it. My belief and faith in this same God is what keeps me moving forward also.

My step dad came out of his own shell several years before he died and started volunteering at the VAMC, that did him a world of good after he retired from a local nickel plant – he found a sense of purpose in helping other veterans. He also found that it was a little easier to talk about Korea because of that. His environment was key to his healing and wellness.

I do what I do not only for myself, but for those that went and fought before me. For those who fought with me, and after me – you. Hope – if you don’t have it then I’ll hold it for you.

And so, this was simply a two part short story of a continuing very long story for myself – recovery is a life long journey that never stops. We must never stop growing and learning about ourselves, that’s why there’s no “ed” at the end of recover – only “y” (imho).

Be proud of who you are; your background, your unit, your medals, and the fact that you have contributed to American freedom and history, world history, military history and FAMILY history.

This stigma thing? I’m reminded of #2 of The Four Agreements…

Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Another pathway to recovery – Empowerment.

Semper Fi.

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“Once a Marine, Always a Marine”

This article is going to be a little long and will have taken some time to type out by the time it’s published, but it’s something that I’ve been wanting to get off my chest for awhile. I’ll do it in 2 parts.

Being proud of what is on the chest, however, (those medals and ribbons earned) be it mine or yours, is what I want to talk about in this blog post and the next.

My belief in God and those shoulders belonging to the giants that we walk on being the true foundation of my story and pillars of strength.

There are a lot of bits and pieces of where I came from, where I’m at now, and where I want to go with my life scattered throughout and in various portions of this blog, but as it relates to the entire idea behind it, the message, and how it all got started hasn’t been made as clear as I can possibly make it – until now…

Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome is a personal project and mission; it’s about awareness through education, breaking the stigma associated with ptsd, it’s about my story, and it’s about yours. It’s about believing again, hope, and a sense of purpose. It’s about recovery and it’s about being proud of who you are – ptsd is not who we are.

I, personally, am a military veteran and there’s no greater or more honorable deed that can be accomplished in one’s life than that of serving your country and defending this great land of ours known as the United States of America against her enemies. Regardless of the branch of service we signed up for, the uniform worn, color of our skin, or our overall background we are ALL brothers and sisters with the same color of blood to prove it. I chose to be a Marine, and I’ll die one too – proudly.

Vietnam:

Growing up I both respected and admired my father greatly, I loved him deeply. The mystery behind his own medals and scars was something that gave me great pause and helped develop my curiosity about the military – I was extremely impressionable and at a very early age.

I was a pretty normal little boy that loved to play “Army”, with G.I. Joe’s, and with plastic army men. I also wanted and needed my dad’s attention, love and affection.

My father is a combat veteran of the Vietnam War – he was a combat engineer and assigned to the First Cavalry Division (Airmobile) and saw his fair share of the horrors that war has to offer. He never talked about it. It wasn’t until after I experienced combat myself that I forgave my dad for not giving me the kind of attention and love that I begged for as a child (as his son) and deserved.

He deserved to be welcomed home properly and not spat upon…

He worked hard, and we never hurt for anything – perhaps love was missing in action but so was parts of my dad, but I didn’t know that then – he loved us with everything he had that was locked up inside of him.

When he was gone, or out of town on a job site, I would go through his things. His Army stuff. I found his dog tags, ribbons, badges, and unit patches – I would hold them as if I wasn’t worthy enough to be doing so – scared he’d find out.

He was so very proud of this very large hard cover black book with the logo of the First Cavalry Division on it – on it read in big bold yellowish gold letters “First Team”. This was, in essence, my first real story book as a child and I’m not kidding about that. One of my first tattoos after I joined the Marines was in his honor, in his brothers honor, the number of Vietnam War casualties based on the impact of that book. I would cry about, for, and with him but he never knew that. He was my hero.

I did not grow up in a dysfunctional family, I grew up in an atmosphere that has kept this country functional in the form of freedom since it’s birth – He represented that to me.

I remember when I got this tattoo at an ink parlor just outside the gates of Camp Lejeune, NC – in Jacksonville. The tattoo artist was a Vietnam Veteran himself and a former Navy Corpsman that went by “Doc”. I sat down in the chair at the ripe old age of 19 and told him what I wanted, more importantly why, and the question of how much was it going to cost?

He looked at me with this stare that seemingly lasted forever, then he said: “Freedom isn’t free my young friend and baby brother, but this tattoo is going to be…”

The price of the tattoo had already been paid in full, by blood, as far as he was concerned.

As my interest increased in what it meant to serve your country as a kid I discovered that there was a list of great Americans that fought that I was related to and served on my dad’s side of the family.

WWI:

I had a great, great uncle that fought at Belleau Wood as an infantryman with the 2nd Infantry Division – an Army Division that was awarded the French Croix de guerre three times and entitles serving members of the 2nd ID and those regiments that were part of it at the time to wear a special lanyard called a fourragere in commemoration. This includes the 5th and 6th Marine Regiments.

I was able to meet this hero before he died – another great honor that I’ll never forget.

WWII:

My great uncle Gene, my grandfather’s brother. He served in the U.S. Navy and aboard two ships during WWII that were both massively damaged and sustained a lot of casualties by the Japanese – he lived to tell about it.

The below picture, from left to right, is of my grandfather (think of the Randy Travis song “He Walked on Water” ), my great uncle Gene, and my great, great grandfather. A few good men are pictured here.

By the time I was 13 it had become clear enough that I had an obligation to serve my country.

In Part 2 I’ll wrap this whole thing up and start with my step-father who fought in the Korean War and was awarded the Purple Heart. Hopefully by then you’ll understand why I wrote this 2 part blog mini series and how it may help you make sense out of your own life – there’s no shame in going to war and returning with ptsd.

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As it’s pointed out in the video; 40 percent of Soldiers, one-third of Marines, and half of the members of the National Guard are reporting symptoms of psychological problems.

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Related articles

• PTSD Programs for Families (vabenefitblog.com)

On another note, I.A.O. on Myspace is pretty much operational now.

“I am receiving Social Security and VA disability pay, and when President Obama tells me I can’t be guaranteed that, I’m a little upset,” said Dom Domingos, local veteran.

Domingos spent nearly half his life serving our country. He was commissioned as a regular armory officer in the 1960s, and was then shipped off to Vietnam where he fought tirelessly until his leg was blown off by a landmine. Now he receives a check from an account he’s already paid into for his disability.

“I’m on Social Security and tell me I might not get my check, what’s the next step? The next step is that you may tell veterans who served our country that your disability check might not show up,” said Domingos.

In an interview, President Obama said, “I cannot guarantee that these checks go out on August 3rd if we haven’t resolved this issue because there may not simply be the money in the coffers to do it.”

The jarring announcement put more than 27 million Americans on edge because many of them were depending on the money that was set to come August 3.

But as the clock ticks and finger pointing continues on Capitol Hill, some believe a resolution may not come in the near future.

“What’s the President’s plan? When is he going to lay his cards on the table? This debt limit increase is his problem,” said House Speaker John Boehner.

Both parties have until August 2 to find a middle ground . If they don’t billions of dollars worth of Social Security, veteran, and disability payments could be in jeopardy, including Domingos’.

“My message would be very simple – do what’s right for the country,” said Domingos.

Source

I try to steer clear of politics on this blog for the most part; that nasty beast called PTSD doesn’t care if you’re a liberal, conservative, democrat, republican, independent, gay, straight, or whatever…

Write Your Representative today and let them know in your own words that this is political horse-crap of the highest order, to reach an agreement, and get those flippin’ checks out on time! I did.

Yes indeed, it’s an older movie, but I just couldn’t watch the whole damn thing before last night. In general terms, it wasn’t that bad of a depiction about serving in the Marine Corps during Operation Desert Storm  – based on my own personal experiences over there.

My conclusion by the time it was over, was that, well, he’s right: “We are still in the desert.”

Rise Against – “Hero of War“

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It is both informative and interesting overall, but it’s number 9 specifically that represents the exact reason why I continue to tell my Vet Center counselor “When I am Ready”, in regards to the much appreciated encouragement that I utilize my veteran educational benefits and sign up for college – perhaps becoming a veteran counselor myself one day.

10 Mental Health Conditions that Commonly Plague College Students

Everyone emotionally and mentally struggles at least once during college, but even individuals with no prior history of mental illness run the risk of losing control under pressure. Mental illness continues to mystify the mainstream, and students already stressed and anxious about classes, relationships, jobs and activities end up suffering from the stigmas just as much as the conditions themselves. But they don’t have to nurture their pain in quiet. More and more individuals (students or not), their loved ones and organizations are speaking up in favor of psychological help in all its forms.

The following list represents some of the most common conditions occurring on campuses globally, though by no means should it be considered a comprehensive glimpse at an issue far more broad and complex.

1. Clinical Depression: At least 44% of college students have reported suffering from some degree of clinical depression — and the number only escalates from there as years tick past. Thanks to prevailing social stigmas regarding psychiatric help, only 23% of victims reported that they’d be comfortable discussing their treatment. Considering the amount of stress, anxiety, sleeplessness and inter- and intrapersonal issues characterizing the college experience, it makes sense that an overwhelming number of students succumb to the symptoms. And, unfortunately, many of the common comorbid conditions and illnesses as well.

2. Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Statistics from 2000 reveal that roughly 10% of college students received a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder, but in all likelihood the numbers have jumped over the past 11 years. Females suffer from such conditions at a rate of five times more than their male peers, though the numbers may be skewed due to unfair social perspectives regarding men and mental illness. Panic attacks inextricably tie into GAD and related disorders, and the afflicted — regardless of whether or not they attend college — can experience them either spontaneously or based on an external or internal cue. Do keep in mind that not all anxiety disorders manifest themselves via panic attacks, nor are all panic attacks inherently indicative of an anxiety disorder.

3. Anorexia Nervosa: At least 91% of female college students have attempted to control their weight via extreme dieting, though not all of these cases can be considered anorexia, of course. Bulimia is actually more prevalent on campus, although anorexia kills more of its victims. Between 10% and 25% of total individuals with this tragic eating disorder die either from the disease itself or complications stemming directly from it. As with other diagnoses of its type, anorexia rarely ravages alone. Not only can it exist side-by-side with bulimia, EDNOS or binge eating disorder, it oftentimes settles in as a result of depression, compulsions or severe anxiety. Lifetime statistics show that between 0.5% and 3.6% of American women suffer from this condition at some point in their lives. With eating disorders on the whole, one of the major associated tragedies is the recovery rate. Only around 60% of victims make a full recovery, with 20% making some headway and the remaining 20% not really coming around.

4. Bulimia Nervosa: Bulimia nervosa can either exist as comorbid with anorexia nervosa, binge eating disorder or EDNOS or on its own, though almost always stems from a mood, anxiety or compulsive disorder rather than flying entirely solo. Roughly 19% of female college students suffer beneath the destructive diagnosis, although males do suffer from it as well. This compares with the 1.1% to 4.2% of women who struggle with bulimia at any point in their lifetime — not just the college years.

5. Substance Abuse: College males admit to past-year drug abuse at a rate of 40%, compared to the 43% of their un-enrolled peers. Females represent an inverse, with 35% of students abusing drugs versus 33% for those outside of college. A total of 37.5% of full-time students and 38.5% of part-timers admitted to illicit substance abuse. Roughly half of the college demographic engages in destructive alcohol consumption, with 1,700 dying, 599,000 injured, 696,000 assaulted and 97,000 raped or sexually assaulted yearly as a direct result. The reasons for these behaviors are as many and varied as there are individuals to display them, although a desire to fit in, depression, anxiety and other mental health issues are frequently to blame.

6. Suicidal Thoughts and Actions: 7.5 out of every 100,000 college students commit suicide, with males between the ages of 20 and 24 standing as the most at-risk demographic. Graduate students are also more vulnerable, claiming 32% of these tragedies. At least 10.1% of total college kids admitted to seriously contemplating suicide, and 1.4% said they attempted it within the past year. The myriad emotional, mental and physical challenges of college life leave so many overwhelmed by hopelessness, stress and despair. Suicide often — but, of course, not always — represents the extreme end of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, compulsive disorders and other mental health conditions. And the general stigma surrounding the seeking of professional help, particularly amongst men, certainly doesn’t quell the problem any.

7. Self-Injury: A 2006 study by Princeton and Cornell researchers revealed that 14% of male and 20% of female students repeatedly engaged in some sort of compulsive self-injury. Cutting, burning, and other dangerous releases provide a similar temporary comfort as drug and alcohol abuse. And, understandably, tend to correlate directly with anxiety, mood disorders, eating disorders, and even suicidal thoughts and behaviors, although single or repeated instances of physical, mental, and emotional abuse as well as lowered self-esteem can factor in at any time as well. 41% of college-aged self-injurers began hurting themselves between the ages of 17 and 22, although the national average is between 14 and 15. Unfortunately, only around 7% of these individuals seek psychological assistance for their torment.

8. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: OCD afflicts one out of every 40 adults, one out of every 100 children and 250 out of every 10,000 college students. Considering higher education already severely taxes kids without any preexisting mental health conditions, it might prove hellacious to those suffering from the compulsive disorder. If left untreated, sufferers run the risk of succumbing to depression and anxiety (both of which are oftentimes co-morbid with OCD), substance abuse, self-injury or even suicide.

9. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: It’s difficult to really gauge just how many college students truly suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, as its symptoms almost always overlap with depressive and anxiety issues — not to mention the fact that both often grow from it. The condition settles in after any number of triggering incidents, but military service and sexual assault (up to and including rape) tend to garner the most attention. Both also impact college students and college-aged as well. An estimated 11% to 20% of Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans are expected to return home with PTSD. At least 20% of college females reported being victimized by rape at some point in their life, and on a national level only 18% actually take it to the authorities. Women under the age of 30.8 (specifically, those in the 16 to 19 range) are the most vulnerable demographic to sexual assault and rape, comprising 80% of reported cases.

10. Phobias: Whether mild and largely harmless or in need of professional intervention, specific phobias are incredibly common both on and off college campuses. Arachnophobia appears to be the most prevalent, afflicting a staggering 34% of the student populace. The only one with any real relevance or influence on college life was public speaking, which terrified 31%. Surprisingly enough, 18% of respondents said they thought they might greatly benefit from pursuing counseling or other form of psychological assistance.

Source

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A handful of vets have gotten into confrontations with police in recent years. In many cases, post-traumatic stress disorder or other emotional battle scars played a role on those incidents.

An interesting article, and to understand what I’m getting at here you’ll have to read it – but let’s face it – there ARE good cops and then there are BAD cops.

He’s gonna be that quintessential prick with a law enforcement badge to a vet regardless. It could be his one and only fetish.

Case in point: Not long ago I found myself majorly over-stressed, manifesting itself into the mother of all panic attacks. The flashbacks had re-started and I spun out of control a little. Well okay, that’s an understatement – A Lot!

I basically went UA (unauthorized absence) and flew the coup here at my POS in an effort to deal with some bastardy demons from the Gulf War before they tried to deal me (once again) an Ace of Spades – it was all about survival. The Fight or Flight response had been activated…

While all this was going on and I was worrying my friends and family to tears – who for the most part hasn’t a clue to what PTSD is (or even a desire to learn) took their own measures and screwed up royally by getting the police involved out of fear for my “safety” and then current state of mind. When in essence, I was fortunate that I wasn’t shot for being a Marine, combat vet, and diagnosed with PTSD by the time it was all said and done.

The mental hygiene had morphed into an outstanding arrest warrant during this melee with the police from something that never got cleared up nearly 2 years ago and was ultimately cleaned up and dismissed (thrown out) by a judge – that’s how serious this offense was and also PTSD related. Even if I had been found guilty, it was a first offense misdemeanor charge that the county basically sent a glorified SWAT team in to execute an arrest. They busted down my door and was armed to the teeth based on very bad information, thank God I wasn’t home at the time.

I had no clue it was still out there and active, an attempt to make it go away was made in the past but it obviously didn’t. I am 41 years old, law abiding, and serve my community honorably – I have NO criminal history!

So, what was I truly guilty of you may ask?? That’s right, being a veteran. Not only a veteran, but a Marine Corps COMBAT veteran with post traumatic stress. There’s nothing like the police, who know absolutely nothing about you, stigmatize both you and the situation because of a PTSD diagnosis.

I couldn’t make this up if I tried…

Upon returning home after the smoke had cleared from what I was dealing with emotionally and physically from the onslaught of nightmares and flashbacks, I pulled up at my place of residence only to have a couple of neighbors tell me to get out of town ASAP – only this time the COPS were the enemy.

One of those guys is a Marine himself and said that “Man, they are looking for you! They pulled out rifles and shotguns because they know you’re a combat vet and a Marine w/PTSD – they told me that themselves!”

The cops already KNEW I was prior military, but that just made things worse and not any better. The license plates on my truck that’s parked outside the very place they crashed say: “Southwest Asia Service” w/ the medal & “Combat”.

Hellooooo!!!

Bridges do need to be built that connects Law Enforcement with the Veteran Community – anything is going to be better than nothing. However, you will always have your idiots that like to pick on the military guys. I will always be thankful for the “Peace” Officer that was from another jurisdiction who helped me (without judgment) get everything sorted out.

Thanks “Gunny”,  for bringing my attention to the article.

Semper Fi.

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